Jan 29... Google Secret (Yeah, I know.)

Today was a sad day. I drove up for Steve's dad's funeral, but I learned one new peice of information today. While lost in Salt Lake, searching frantically for the funeral home, I became distressed and went inside a local cafe to find the address. There, the man behind the counter told me a valuable trick I could use... text Google. That's right folks, we don't even need a computer anymore. Type in the name of the place with the zip code, and voila! the address will magically be texted to you. This also works with movie times... just type in the movie name with the zip, and it will give you exactly what you need. Who knew that google would somehow take over the texting industry? :)

Jan 28... Vendo-land..?

Yeah, that's right. Vendo-land exists outside of the imagination.. and it exists in a little place I like to call...

The Fine Arts Underground

Vendoland is a quaint little area with tables and chairs, a pungent smell, a ping pong table, and, of course, vending machines galore. Bradley and John took me to this lovely place to play some ping pong, where I learned a bit about backspins and other such things of importance. Though it was a semi-close game, Bradley beat me. But it was totally worth it to finally witness Vendo-land and the magical things that exist in this secret room. Yay Vendoland!!

Jan 27... Hard Cooore.

Not really. The only thing I did today was try crepes with bananas and peanut butter. Which was a delicious twist, if I do say so myself.

Jan 26... I can see clearly now..

I can see all obstacles in my way... Well, in about a week, that is. Today I took the long journey to the University Provo Mall to find meself some sweet glasses. That's right-

After 8 years of contacts only, I am finally allowing myself to indulge in a pair of glasses.

Plus these are super cool. They are plastic (one must be trendy when wearing glasses these days), and they are purple on the inside, with rhinestones on the side. Can you get any cooler than that?

Also done today: tried eggplant for the first time. This has always been a big joke in my family, and today I decided to give it a try. It wasn't that good. But it had to be done!

Eggplant.

Jan 25... Hot hot hot

Actually, I think the yellow ones are the least spicy. That was today's task... eating a yellow pepper. It wasn't that bad, it was actually quite mellow, the yellow... hello. Jello. I need to get more creative. Oh Well-o.

P.S. This picture is silly.

Jan 24... More Cheese.

Today was simple but great. I tried Pepperjack cheese for the first time. Not the real cheese, but the processed Easy Cheese, on crackers. It was actually quite delicious but spicy. I think I'm getting more than my share of dairy this week...

January 23... Wooden Shoes+Cheese=Awesome.

Today was a day chock full of vitamins, minerals, and tons of awesome "firsts". I went to the Fine Arts Museum located conveniently next to me. Me, B-Rad, and Landon all toured the art/music level. We saw tons of good art and spent a good time discussing feelings, thoughts, and impressions. We also heard some cool musical compositions... one which included 90+ wooden shoes suspended from cables. For a quarter, you could watch as they clicked their own musical composition! It was one of the coolest things I've seen.

Also done today... me and some piano major friends went to the local Dairy for lunch. This place is sweet! Any place that serves hot soup in Logan is on the top of my list. So I tried another first: Wisconson Cheese soup. It was pretty tasty. I also bought real Logan Squeeky Cheese, haha! As we were discussing getting Aggie Ice Cream, a lady in a lab coat suddenly popped out of a door, and informed us that we were to follow her if we wanted to live. (Just kidding, but she said that if we were part of an expiriment, we would get free ice cream coupons.) So we went in the back, and

I was part of my first expiriment! I tasted turkey through this little window, it was awesome and very formal :) The best part was my Aggie Bull Tracks ice cream, this stuff really is the best, and also a first of mine!

One last thing: me and cailie and brad practiced cha cha in the FA. It was awkward, because people were staring at us and my terrible techno cha cha music. Oh well.

Jan 22... On a day Below Zero...

Many cool things done today inside from the -3 degrees it was in Logan.

I'll stick to the three coolest things I did....

1. Attended a lecture about a 20th century composer Olivier Messiaen. This dude wrote a 2 hour piano peice with 20 movements dedicated to God... It's called Vingt Regards Sur L'Enfant Jesus and it's AMAZING. I love it regardless of the dissonance and repetitiveness, because it is very well put together and composed, with themes for each symbol. What an amazing piece to begin my adventure into contemporary piano literature.




2. I dressed up in a burgalar mask and crazy clothes in front of people. I looked ridiculous.




3. Me and my lovely roomies decided to try out one of those first aid blankets that they put in those emergency kits.. so fun! This thing folds out to be huge, but really thin. Yet it keeps you ridiculously warm! We looked so silly parading down the stairs to try it in this terrible cold weather, but it was totally worth it! I'm going to buy one of these and make it into thermal underwear or a coat or something. Ridiculously cool.
   
   

Jan 21... I'm Very Sneaky Sir...

Today me and my father tried to sneak into the Murray Rec Center. Needless to say, the one time my dad took me, we got caught, and had to pay ten bucks. But I got some good father-daughter bondin time in, impressed some of the local hotties liftin weights, and ALMOST beat my dad in billiards. Not bad for a monday.

Also... I drove in the fog for the first time BY MYSELF. THROUGH SARDINE CANYON. I thought I was going to die. But ahhhh... i love clouds.

Jan 20... Origami to the Extreme!

...Well.. sort of. Actually, I got home at ten with no prospects of a social life, so I decided to take my idea I had previously given to Cailie... make an origami I haven't tried yet. So I sat down at the computer and pulled up some sites... unfortunately, I couldn't quite master how to read the instructions, so I was forced to resort to youtube....

Long story short, my mother found me at 10:30, sitting alone at my computer, watching origami on youtube with no sound. (Our speakers are broken) I think I looked like quite the loser...

I made my favorite flower (a lily) and a butterfly. So take that, all your professional paper folders! But I will admit, it was harder than it used to be in elementary.

Jan 19... VW for life?

You got it. Today I hung out with an old friend Alex, and we took to State Street to do some cruisin... not in my poor lil Beretta, but in some Volswagon GTI's. Dunno if I quite dig the European cars, being a Ford girl myself, but I figured I'd give it a try... It wasn't half bad, neh?

But I feel like a traitor having the VW sign, so here's a Ford one.

January 18... Like Father Like Daughter?

My dad LOVES putting Ketchup on everything in sight. Today, I found out that our very own Sam White also puts ketchup on everything. I noticed this when he made me dinner... good ole homemade mac and cheese. He got me to finally step out of my shell and try it... so there you go. Ketchup on Mac And Cheese. It wasn't the best flavor.. a bit too tomato-ey for my own taste, but definitely worth the try. Plus I heard tomatoes fight cancer, so it just had to happen :)

Also done today: I went to see a midnight movie in Logan. Keep in mind, that this was not a premeir, but merely just a regular showing. We watched P.S. I love you, and it was pretty sweet I guess.

January 17... Teachin' Stuff.

Today was the scariest first of my life... I taught my first students today!!! A 5 year old and eight year old... it was absolutely terrifying. The kids are super cute, but the mom scared the begeezers out of me... But I guess it will be a good learning experience for me, and I have a few good ideas to help teach them the right way. Yay teaching!



Also done today... me and Cailie kicked an ice ball the whole way from the FA building to the TSC... we named it Herbert.








Also, I drank hot chocolate out of a curd cheese container. And we finally sampled one of B-Rad's delectable burritos. I gotta say, the taste is worth the awful smell the microwave makes. A long and grueling day, but we had some good laughs along the way!





Um yeah.. I was stuck at the FA all day long so we got a little bored... This video has nothing to do with anything, but it is absolutely hilarious.

January 16... Shake those hips!!

Sometimes our dorm never sleeps. Tonight was just one of those nights. We were all sitting around talking, and my roommate brought up dancing. Some people in our building are taking hip hop, so we decided to take some lessons. I have never attempted hip hop, and it is so much fun!! There's lots of shakin hips, poppin shoulders and whatnot, and it's a blast. Anyways, its not the biggest thing ever, but a new thing to check off the list. And now I have some sweet moves to pull at the next dance I go to!

Also to be noted, I took my first pictures with Lindsey Buck. This red headed girl is spunky and silly, and I love her to death! To have a picture with her means you have progressed far in life. Here are some of the sweet pics we took!!

Ash: "Look like you're giving eskimo kisses!"

Me and Linds: "Uh... what?"

January 15... Breathe deep...relax..

In honor of a busy day, I decided to keep today's "new thing" a little low key. While hunting through the mall for headphones with B-Rad, I spied a large empty booth in the hallway. With nothing in particular, I jumped on top of it (because who doesn't love to jump on top of tabletops?) and took a seat. I realized that it was the perfect size for me and B-Rad to sit side by side. Because today was such a hectic day, it seemed the ideal time to meditate. So, with a little forcing, I got B-Rad to close his eyes and we began to breathe deep. All was going well, until I heard Bradley's purposely labored breaths, and I tried extremely hard not to giggle. That, and the fact that "R-O-C-K in the USA" was playing in the background, made it a bit hard to concentrate on relaxing. Though it may not be the best place to get all my shockers aligned, it IS a fun little hangout, and I think we might start sitting there a bit more often. Until tomorrow, folks!

January 14... Monkey See Monkey Do

Today's "new thing" was Cailie's inspiration... more fun than a barrel of monkeys!! Actually, it was a wooden monkey, heh heh. Pre-cut and ready to assemble. Don't let the easiness of the task overwhelm you though, this lil guy was harder to make than you'd think. Each leg was specifially assigned a place, and if they were put out of place, the poor lil guy looked absolutely ridiculous. Plus. you all know me and crafts... an absolute disaster. So there you have it folks, a new friend that cost less than a dollar... now all he needs is a banana!

January 13... All Natural (Rated PG 13 for some nudity)

I don't know if I should really share, but today's "new thing" was quite interesting. As you all probably know, I am a piano major at Utah State. This means that we spend hours and hours in tiny enclosed boxes with pianos in them (or, stated politically correct.. "practice rooms") They consist of a room, a piano, a chair and bench, and a tiny window on the door. To make up for the long and slacking weekend I had up here, I decided to shut myself into one of these to practice. After 4 hours, I began to lose my mind, as I usually do. Suddenly, a brilliant and stupid idea came to me. I took a quick peek outside. As I correctly assumed, everyone had left for the night, so I was alone.

I have a fear of being naked in public places... I am terrified of skinny dipping and running out of the shower for fear someone will see me. Today, I suppressed my fear. I closed the door and suddenly began throwing off my clothes until I was free... and that's what it felt like...

Freedom

I even played through my Chopin Nocturne like that once, to just feel the accomplishment. It was terrifying, knowing my classmates, or even professors, could walk by and see me- but it just made my experience that much better. I know some of you are thinking that I'm gross or kinky or weird, but heck... it just felt good. Eh, I guess that's what 4 hours of practice does to the brain.

January 12... Testing the Waters

Yep, that's right. Today I went on a date with a total stranger. Well, I can't say he was a complete stranger, but close. This guy asked me for a date while I was working at Aero, and all I knew about him was that his name was Trevor... Anyways. He picked me up at seven and we went to Iggy's for dinner, and afterwards we went bowling. He seemed generally nice, he was decent looking, but kind of shy. That, and he didn't get the door for me, which was a real bummer. However, he did pick up the check... haha :)

Date status: Went good, but don't think there will be any romance here. Oh well, at least I didn't get raped or anything! :)

January 11... Spittin' Like A Man

I've always been sort of timid when it comes to spitting in public, because I have never had any brothers to show me the "correct" way to spit. Today I took the plunge with a bag of BBQ flavored sunflower seeds. (Picture coming soon) Though I can't say it was the most monumental thing in the world, it was defininitely entertaining, and quite flavorful.

January 10th... Poppin' Good Times

Although today was going to be a terrifically fabulous day, it didn't turn out so well. Between classes, practice, and a hectic practice time sign up, today was filled with tedious tasks and sadness. (It's true... one of my frogs died this morning...) Sad. However, some things to be noted:

Today I learned the some new steps to the cha cha. I absolutely LOVE the cha cha...
Also... today I wore my sweatpants tucked inside my boots for the first time.

And to be recorded between today and yesterday... Me and Cailie made Kettle Corn in the FA building. Trying to use that microwave for the first time was a whole different story. So many buttons... so much junk stuck to the walls... so hard to reach... But the popcorn was delicious!

January 9th... Something Fishy

Today was a fabulous day, because I gained three new friends. It doesn't matter that they can't live outside of the water. Or that they don't breathe air. Or that I have to feed them to keep them alive. That's right,

I got my first pets!

One beta fish and two African Frogs. It was such an adventure, looking at all the fishes in the tanks... I was reminded of being a kid. I really wanted to get a needle fish because they look so silly, but in the end, realized that any of the fish I got would probably die in my cold water. Oh well.

I love them already.. I love watching them swim around and... well... swim. Yay pets! One of the frogs has a name.. Rodney... the others, not so sure on. Let me know if you come up with any good ideas!

January 8th... Riding the Short Bus

Today in Logan, it snowed like you wouldn't believe. Because of such a cold and wet day, me and Cailie decided to take Cathy's advice, and take the bus to the Book Table to purchase our piano repertoire. So, we got geared up and took our first Cache Valley Transit bus out of campus!

At first we were excited. We arrived at the local Smiths into the bus stop of all bus stops. There was a station, lots of benches, and even more buses. We were amazed, yet completely lost. We timidly asked the man behind the counter which bus to take, and he recommended the 11 bus... or, as he explained, the short bus. We got on and took the back seats, laughing and drawing pictures of stick people in the foggy windows. However, we watched in horror as the bus passed by the Book Table, and passed main street. By this time, it was 5:00, and we had to be back at a meeting at 6:00. We suppressed our fears... we figured we'd ride the bus all the way back to avoid getting lost. Little did we know, how long that bus ride would be.

It begain to grow dark, and more shady people got on the bus. One man making strange comments about old movies, two little girls being overly friendly with creepy men, a strange boy who wanted to use my cell phone... and our bus driver kept driving past people's stops. Soon, the prospect of hunger got to us, and we realized we might not make it through this scary ride. We drove through neighborhoods and back alleys, our little bus sliding and sloshing through the increasing snow. After a long and draining drive to Nibley and back, we finally made it back to Smiths. We purchased bags of chips and a snickers to keep us going, and made it back to our meeting about half an hour late. A two hour adventure for a ten minute drive..... Although we never made it to the Book Table, we did make it back to USU's lovely little campus. And one thing is for sure: I'd drive my car over taking the bus any day.

(Picture: Back on campus!! Yay!!!)

January 7th... Tie Dye Awaits!!!

WE LOVE TIE DYE!!!!

In honor of the first day of school, and the lack of homework thus far, we decided to set aside today as Tie Dye Day. This tie dye, which had been sitting in her room since last semester, was one of the things that first brought us together. It was one of my favorite days up here so far.. laid back, relaxing, and just all around fun. We had many great adventures... from laughing at high waisted panty thongs at Wal Mart, to trying on llama furry white boots and finding cooler ones for ten dollars, setting up my empty fish tank, eating yogurt upside down from the container, buying her first fifty cent tattoo, almost getting stabbed by point leaded pencils, getting covered in snow in the parking lot after FHE, laughing at a scary man with a huge handlebar moustache, and eating Ham and Bacon soup (I thought only my grandma made that stuff! And it was deeelicious!) I can't think of anything important that we were supposed to get done, but it was the perfect day I needed to spend with a best friend and just laugh about life.

Tie Dying was a whole different league of fun. We started out by cutting arm and head holes into garbage sacks and wearing them around like silly people. Then we soaked our clothing "items" (shirts, tank tops, and *cough* underwear) and put them in rubber bands. After soaking them in this bubbly ash stuff, we began to squirt the dye on them. It was quite exhilirating and exciting! Our creations will not be done for 24 hours, but once we have them done, we will finally be able to "Pledge allegiance to the tie dye underwear of the apartment"...... or just look like absolute hippies wearing them around. (A special thanks to all of Cailie's roommates for letting us use the table and putting up with our silliness)

January 6th... Confrontation

I have never in my life addressed a problem in my life the way others do. Normally, I just ignore them until they either go away or work themselves out. I inherited that trait from my mother, one of meekness and submission that I have never been able to break free from. I am pushed around and used by many people I once called friends. I am unable to communicate my thoughts and feelings without making myself physically sick. Tommy O'Dell was the one who made me realize the potential I had to confront my problems, and in the end, he was the one I finally tested it out on.

I had just had the worst christmas break of my life. I felt like no one cared, no one was there, and was just down on myself for weeks. I felt that life was pulling at me, forcing me to change, but I liked the old way that things were before. There is nothing as humbling or lonely as spending night after night alone without knowing why. Nothing hurts more than being ignored, being used, being left behind. To suddenly be so low on his priority list was unbearable for me, and I would stay up hours just thinking about it. I couldn't take it any longer. One night, I completely let go of the old part of my life, the expectations, my hopes, the feelings that I felt for him. I embraced my sweatpants and camo hat into my life again, and began to experience the world again. And life moved on, like it always does. Things were better, but not enough to keep the hole in my chest from re-opening.

So Tommy came over. We talked for a bit, and I was trying so hard to be happy, when inside it was hurting so bad I thought I would be sick. I couldn't understand how I could hate what he did to me so bad, and yet when we were with each other, it was completely erased and I was euphorically happy. I was left to my thoughts. Was I going to let it drag on this way? Could I really go through with this rollercoaster?

I packed up my stuff and got on the freeway headed to Logan. About 7200 South, I finally realized that I couldn't have it that way. I couldn't let him keep screwing me over without telling him how I felt. He had always told me to have my own thoughts, to take crap from no one, and to tell it how it is. I suddenly realized that I needed this confrontation. I weaved through all the lanes to take that exit and I sped to his parents house as quickly as I could. I was on the edge of craziness the entire time, I almost turned back two or three times. I think he knew it was coming all along, but it took some time for me to realize that I could go through with it. We sat in my car, and struggling to keep my voice steady, I demanded answers. He talked, and the hole in my chest got bigger. But I told him how I felt too, and I did the best I could without breaking into tears. I don't think I got out all my feelings, I don't think they can come out so soon, but maybe with time they will. It was the hardest struggle of my life to put those thoughts into words, to make him feel how I was feeling. The hole in my chest got smaller with each thing I said, and I got my answers. It might not have been the answers or ending that I wanted, but it was an ending. And with it was a brand new start.

And what of my life now? Well, I cried the entire hour and a half drive home, and then I stopped. That was all I allowed myself. No more moping around and feeling sorry for little old me. No more mourning over what could have been, but was too good to be true. I lost a really great thing that night, but not a great person. I still believe that he cares about me and wants to be there for me. It was one of the best learning experiences of my life... I learned about myself, and I learned about my capacity to care for others. I took so much from his crazy "balls out" lifestyle, and i learned a lot from his family and friends. I truly believe that if it weren't for his random texts or late night phone calls with weird conversations, I would not have made it through my first semester in college. If it weren't for his pep talks and continous support, I wouldn't have pushed myself to more than I thought was possible. It was his gentlemanly way of treating me that made me realize that I deserve the best, and his compliments that helped me walk into a room with confidence for once in my life.

I may not be HIS commodity, but as Ray states, I am a commodity nonetheless. I just have to find the right market.

January 5th... Surviving and Eating. Essential to life.

Not much to report here. I had quite an interesting day. I pulled an all-nighter that night, and had to drive my sister to Orem for dance at 7:15 A.M. It was a cold and stormy morning, but all went well until the drive home. It had started to blizzard, and the freeway was full of slush and puddles. This was my first experience driving on the freeway in a complete storm, and I didn't think I would make it. The huge diesels kept speeding by and flinging slush into my windsheild, and every time I tried to switch lanes I would fishtail and hold on, praying to survive. And I did... yay!

Also, I picked Ray up from the airport, and we went to catch some lunch at the good old Spag Fac... haha i LOVE that place. While discussing my new goal, we decided to eat our noodles with our hands. So I ditched my fork, and dug in. It was much more delicious that way, but a tad bit more messy. The thing that concerned me was that we were both so comfortable and used to strange things that it didn't feel weird at all. And unfortunately, no pictures. But it was fun all the same!! (Plus I ate his leftovers... sorry Ray)

January 4th... Not your every day couch drive by

Yes, you've all heard it before, i love breaking the law. Anything I can do to stick it to the man, cause some trouble, or just thrive on the "toothy edge of danger" is my thing. I love being sneaky and breaking the rules, being reckless and stupid, and just feeling like I have power. B-Rad and crew made it happen for me this night.
I attatched myself to their group and we were off on a wild adventure. They hated a boy. They had possession of a broken couch/recliner. Thus, "couching" was the fantastic event of the evening. I myself was not educated in the ways, but the boys helped me out a bit. We drug the couch up the stairs (knocking over lots of picture frames on the way), out the front door, and into the back of a truck. We then proceeded to drive to the loathesome boys' house, lugged it across the street (the boys even let me help, how sweet) and pretty much dumped the broken thing on the porch. You can imagine the thrill when the porch lights suddenly were flicked on. We ran to the getaway car like nothing you've ever seen before, and I was giggling like a mad woman. And after a few hours, we proceeded to drive by again, and B-Rad powerboxed his house. What a thrill, what a thrill.

January 3rd... Tattoos, anyone?

It was a lonely and cold January 3rd, and I decided that Richard Loveridge was in some desperate need for entertainment. The poor lad had broken his foot and had been laying around his home for days, and I decided to come and visit. The catch was: we had no idea what we were going to do. After we had caught up on life, the idea was brought up to go have some fun off-roading in the snow. I laughed and shook my head, but he was serious... he claimed the boot on his foot only made more surface area to push the car pedal down... Richie, you are absolutely nuts :)

After plan A, plan B was devised, in which he was to give me a tattoo... specifically speaking, a henna tattoo. I immediately agreed, because I have always wanted to try this. This stuff came out of a squeezy bottle, was greyish in color, and stuck on my skin like paint. I told him to go crazy, and so he did. It took probably close to 2 hours to do it all, and it was worth every minute of it! After the paint dried, we peeled it off and waited. The chemical from the fruit was settled into my skin, but it was a clear color, and hard to see. I was worried, but woke up the next morning to find that my lovely tattoos were dark and sweet looking! He did a fine job, here is a pic to prove it :) (It wraps around my arm to my elbow, but the pic didn't turn out very well. He also did a japanese tattoo on my right hand that means "beautiful"... what a sweetheart!)

January 2nd... Sushi Day

Yes, the rumors are true. On January 2nd, about evening time, I had my sushi virginity taken from me. But not to worry, it was under supervision, and I willingly consented :)

Me and my dear friend Melissa Martinson drove to a quaint little restraunt called the "Fortune Cookie" and cracked open the menus for a good time. The sushi was decently priced, so we decided to get about $20.00 worth of sushi to give it all a try. Little did we know, it was plenty more than we imagined. We got a lot of different kinds... some I can't pronounce, so I won't try. I operated chopsticks for the first time, took a little shot of ginger and wasabi, and tried the stuff. I gotta say, it's not half bad! It's definitely the most exotic and strangest tasting food I've ever tried! The bites were huge and there were times where I thought the texture mixed with the soy sauce and wasabi would get me, but all in all, I think I put up a fair fight. (However, I spit out half of my Hot Tako roll, as show in the illustration to your left...I know... wimp.. Then again, it did have an octupus tentacle poking out of it, so yeah.) We had a little scare, with Melissa losing her fortune from her cookie (and prospect of life with it), but we left happy and satisfied, with sushi in our bellies and joy in our hearts. It was such a fun time though, experiencing new flavors and culture. I absolutely loved it!

(Note: Also done.... shopped at Kid2Kid with Spencer Clark.. We came, and we conquered. We pretended to be married, and cruised around looking for fun items for our "baby boy" After much perusing through a baby book, I decided upon the name Felipe. We wandered aimlessly for a while, not seeing anything that caught our eye. Fortunately, we found the movie selections, and after much deliberation, decided upon An American Tale. Fifel won his way into our hearts, and we purchased the movie for a whopping $2.99. What a deal. My favorite part about this adventure was escaping through the miniature pink door. It was an excellent time.)